i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize