I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
