On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
