gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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