So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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