best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
