he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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