it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Can you repeat that, but with context?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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