it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
