Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
