I cockslap morals
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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