I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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