Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just puked most of my soul out..
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