Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
