Banned from zoo.
Again?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
