If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
