What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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