Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
