I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
