girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
