Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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