it wasn't lemon gatorade
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You know, be my cock's hype man.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
