The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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