i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
try to milk me bitch
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
