we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize