just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
