dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
