My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
His nipple licking is glorious
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