The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Too much gin, very little bucket
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
