So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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