Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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