david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
