i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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