wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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