I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
