my room smells like sperm. sweet.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
