i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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