i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize