what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Your penis caused this!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
