we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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