Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
