you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
