just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
