it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
