i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
