ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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