I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
