Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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