Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
