It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
