I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
