And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
