what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
