I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I party with great urgency now.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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