You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
