Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
