Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
