I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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