How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
