God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
