I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
