I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
