hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
