Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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